Supportive Strategies: 10 Compassionate Ways to Address Weight with Your Boyfriend

Obesity is a common yet life-threatening disease. It is concerning when your loved one is going through it. And you want to intervene because you are worried about his health. But the last thing we expect from our partner is to feel ashamed of and rejected because of the way we look. You must be thinking, why would he feel that way? Well, weight is a touchy subject, and he can be sensitive about it. Below are ten well-researched ways to approach him about this sensitive topic compassionately. 

1. Do Not Make Shameful Comments

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Shame is an element that can never be a constructive approach when it comes to a sensitive topic. Your boyfriend may become aware of the issue and might restrict the calorie intake, but that is not the best approach. Shame is more likely to promote self-hatred and criticism. For example, a girl commented that her boyfriend was getting bigger, and she casually said that if he continuously gains weight. I might lose attraction. Girl, the last thing you lost was the respect you never had!     

2. Ask if He Is Okay

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A lot of the time, when someone gains so much weight in a short period- there must be some underlying reasons you ought to be missing. Ask questions to him, and keep things respectful, give him some time to respond. And don't be insensitive while he answers. 

3. Have a Meaningful Conversation

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Being overweight is harmful for several reasons. If you have a high BMI, you are prone to have diabetes, cardiovascular problems, and even cancer. So, articulate your conversation in a way that portrays a concern, not criticism. Discuss potential issues he could have because of obesity. A girl shared that when she noticed his BF was getting big, she kindly talked about it and offered to go for a walk daily.

4. Wait for the Right Moment

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A woman shared that his boyfriend was doing okay until he met his abusive ex (she used to restrict his diet and forced him to run marathons with her). After the meetup, he got severe PTSD and gained a lot of weight. Whenever she (his current GF) tries to say something about it, he would say he is not ready to lose weight. Things like this happen when the person is triggered- or something is holding him back. That is why waiting for the right moment is crucial. 

5. Talk Honestly, Be Empathetic

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Before approaching him for this sensitive conversation, sit down and see the grey areas of your life. Consider all the touchy subjects that might trigger you if someone points out and how you would want your partner to tackle this issue. This way, you will know what and how to say it. 

6. Encourage Him 

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A commenter shared that he used to think he was fit. Whenever he checks his BMI, it tells him that he needs to lose 30 pounds, and he laughs at it. Until his GF lovingly approached him and gave him a comfortable space. Later, he ended up losing weight in six months. Sometimes, a person stays in denial, and you can always encourage him with love.   

7. Be Patient With His Decisions

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Motivation is temporary and vague. It might help you for some time, but it doesn't last forever. Discipline is something that can help to lose weight. To be disciplined, it needs some time and better mental clarity. So, wait and be patient about your partner's decisions.    

8. Make It About His Health 

A commenter suggested to revolve the whole conversation around his health, not his weight. It is good advice because people often think weight is all about physical attraction. Not being attractive enough is what triggers people, especially when you're in a relationship.     

9. Make It Fun 

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Check your partner's mental health before initiating this conversation, and if you suspect that he is not in the right mental space, help him to get through his demons. Make things fun, plan fun dates at the gym, or you can meal prep together.   

10. Offer Your Help

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Do not let him do the grind alone- you can eat healthy food with him. Go for groceries and opt for healthier options. Do not just sit beside him and eat pizza while he eats salad. Of course, you both can enjoy pizza, too, but make it a moderate thing.

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