A Reddit user shared her story of refusing to go on a trip her husband planned because he didn't ask her in advance.
Last Minute Vacation
The original poster (OP) explained that when her husband came home from work, he told her that they would be going on a trip in two weeks. OP asked him what he meant by that and he said that he booked a six-day long vacation for the two of them. OP clarified that he hadn't mentioned it beforehand, so she politely told him that he should have asked first.
She explained that she can't just take leave from work like that and she's very busy at the moment, so she can't go. She suggested that they arrange a trip together when they both have time. OP said she couldn't wrap her head around why he didn't ask her first. She said that her husband became angry, saying he was just trying to plan a nice surprise and that OP should stop being so “uptight” and enjoy life a little bit. He then walked out and slammed the door.
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The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community was mostly on her side in this situation.
One user pointed out that it is difficult to plan surprise vacations when the person has a job. “NTA. Vacations cannot be a surprise when you have a job. Why would your husband assume that you can take that much time off without warning?”
Another user argued, “Not true, they certainly can be, but not without any thought. I was taken away on a surprise holiday by an ex one time and it was wonderful. But she made sure to find a period of time that we both had free.”
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Another user said that they wouldn't consider the vacation a “nice surprise.” “NTA. Bringing you flowers is a nice surprise. Getting takeout from your favorite restaurant is a nice surprise. Picking you up in a car when you expected to go on public transportation is a nice surprise. Forcing an unplanned vacation on you, spending all that money from the family budget (the hotel alone must be at least $800 and probably closer to $1K), is not a nice surprise. You ask about things like that.”
Another user suggested in the future the surprise could be that they plan a trip together. “NTA – it could be a lovely surprise to be offered the opportunity to plan a trip together. “Hey, I arranged a life-disrupting, work-complicating event without your input! Thank me!” is a big ask, and for him to pout when you're not able/willing to drop everything on a moment's notice? He's TA here.”
Was OP justified in turning down the vacation? Should her husband have been more sensitive to her work schedule? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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