Double standards exist everywhere in society, most commonly between the two genders. An online community compiled a list of things that are generally acceptable for women to do, but men are frowned upon when they do it.
1. Talking To Strangers' Kids
“In general just “being good with children.” Kids love me because I never really grew up much myself, so they get attached easily, but I feel like I have to forcibly ignore them or push them away because people will look down on me in some way,” one guy said.
A woman also shared an experience that she believed would have gone differently if she was a man. “One time I was a Walmart and there was this really cute baby in front of me in line and I was waving and smiling at him. The dad asked if I wanted to hold him and literally handed his baby over to me, a random stranger. I feel like if I was a man smiling at the baby he would have had a different reaction.”
2. Insulting Looks
“I don’t know what to call it, but I was bullied by a women when I was school she always made fun of my looks, I made one single comeback she started bawling and someone how I turned into the bad guy. Lol,” a guy said. “Commenting on looks in general, positive or negative. A lot of women I know will be super harsh on guys for being bald/fat/skinny whatever. And also be super gross and explicit about guys they're attracted to. I hate both of these. I rarely, rarely hear guys talk the same way about women,” another chimed in.
3. Being a Stay-at-Home Parent
“Yeah I’ve been at it 8 years. Some days are awesome most days are exhausting, but I don’t get invited to the other stay at home parents things because they are “mom groups”. No one is specifically excluding me but it doesn’t occur to anyone that a stay at home parents might not be a mom,” one stay-at-home dad shared.
Another shared his solution to the isolation issue. “That's been my biggest challenge is not having peers as a stay at home father. I ended up starting a little breakfast boys club. Each Saturday, other fathers get together and have breakfast, then take the kids for a walk. It is isolating but they'll be better for it. No one is a invested in your kids development than their parents.”
4. Expressing Feelings
“I saw my sister speak about something that was upsetting her and I think I genuinely felt jealous when I realized I would never feel safe enough to express how I felt to anyone else. I just feel as a man I'd be seen as weak for doing so,” one man shared. “I feel like I need to frame my feelings in ways that won't hurt other people. Especially when I'm feeling hurt or vulnerable. I often am hyper-aware of my actions as to not come off as toxic. It makes me second guess a lot of my gut feelings about things. I should be allowed to feel jealous and communicate it as a feeling without being seen as toxic or threatening. I've worked really hard to control my emotions and reactions, it's only fair to expect others to respect that,” another added.
5. Being Shy
“I started working at a new place 9 months ago, and I’ve heard from someone I’ve gotten to know recently that are working in a different department that at least two of the women there thought I was a [jerk] for not saying hello when I was new. Neither of them said hello to me either, but as the lone new guy in an established place I’m the [jerk] for not going up and introducing myself to everyone from the get go??” one guy said. “If you're shy as a woman someone is going to think it's cute and ask you out. If you're shy as a man you will die alone unless you radically alter yourself,” another added.
6. Self-Care Activities
“Manicures, pedicures, massages, indulgent baths…those sensory touch things that are so healing to our physical selves,” one guy said. Another added, “Yup, used to go for regular pedis with my ex and she really had to convince me to go for the first time. After the first time, I said the exact same thing – “I understand why you do this now”. After that, pedis became part of our regular routine.”
7. Fashion Experimentation
“Especially as someone who enjoys dance, it’s been really remarkable to see how women can wear basically anything as long as certain parts are covered. Big poofy pants that come up above your waist with sports bra? Cool. Skin tight half-leggings with a poncho? Excellent choice! But men always wear the same [stuff]. T shirt or button shirt, pants in the usual style,” one man said.
Another added, “My wife has outfits that are essentially a suit and tie with dress shoes, she always gets rave reviews, but if I put on a dress and high heels, not so much.”
8. Being Short
“Heightism is not even addressed in our society,” one man said.
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Another man pointed out, “It’s starting to be. Not nearly enough but it’s at least starting to be. Pointing out women’s hypocrisy of saying they won’t date short men but getting angry when men say they won’t date X type of women. Usually weight is used as an example. Which fires women up and is then pointed out that weight is in their control while height is not. So if they’re angry about being told they have to be in a certain weight range but don’t see the problem in demanding men be in a certain height range then they’re part of the problem.”
9. Working as a Nurse
“Male nurse here. When patients ask me why I chose to become a male nurse I just tell them that the surgery to become a female nurse is too expensive,” one guy quipped. “I'm in the ICU for a 3rd (and hopefully final) night, and 2 of the 5 nurses I've had have been male. And provide just as good service,” someone else added.
10. Teaching Elementary School
“I taught Primary (elementary) for several years. Starting age 22. I was explicitly told I was not to hug the children, or be alone in a room with a child,” one man said.
Another person added, “Im older now, but the best teacher I had in elementary school was a male. On the last day I was crying like 40 minutes before the final bell because I was gonna miss him for life. Hugged him tightly at the door and he walked me out to my parents. Imagine the creepy looks he got from his colleagues that day. It wasnt the school stuff, but it was the life lessons he told me that I still apply to this day decades later. Im hoping hes still alive. Too bad the school boards cant tell you their status/address. I still think about him to this day.”
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