Friend Was Too Comfortable With Boyfriend, She Told Her to Back Off, Is She a Jerk?

A Reddit user shared her story of having to tell one of her close friends to back off her boyfriend.

Disrespectful Actions

The original poster (OP) explained that she and her boyfriend have a pretty large group of friends, and within that group, OP has some friends that she would consider close friends. One of those friends recently broke up with her girlfriend and is now dating around, mostly men.

OP added that this friend has very flirty energy and is a close friend of OP's because both of them are comfortable having deep conversations with each other. OP said that recently, her friend and her boyfriend have been talking more at group outings. OP said she doesn't have a problem with her boyfriend having female friends because she has a few male friends.

However, she said she does have an issue with the fact that the friend has begun to get touchy-feely with her boyfriend. For example, she will wipe a crumb off of his face, put her hand on his shoulder, and rest her arm behind his chair. OP said her boyfriend also started bringing her friend up more in conversations.

OP said she asked him straight up if he had feelings for her. He adamantly denied it and didn't bring her up anymore. OP said that although she trusts her boyfriend, he still doesn't step away when her friend touches him, so OP went to her friend and politely let her know that she is uncomfortable with how she touches her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend found out that she had talked to her friend and became angry, saying that it was embarrassing and that she obviously didn't trust him.

Related: Don't Consider a Relationship Unless You Understand These 10 Things

The Masses Weigh In

The Reddit community seemed to collectively agree that OP has a boyfriend problem, not a friend problem.

One user said, “So your bf is not bothered when your friend is being touchy feely with him. Also he says you embarrassed him discussing it with her. Looks like you have a bf problem and not a friend problem. NTA because you discussed your feelings with your bf and also told your friend what you were uncomfortable with. You say you told all that respectfully which is perfectly acceptable.”

Another added, “NTA but I agree that she is crossing the line. You were right to speak up. She has no right to flirt with him or get touchy feely with him. Sounds like he likes the attention though if hes mad at you. You may need to watch out for more red flags.”

Another chimed in, “NTA it would have been better if your boyfriend set a boundary with this friend after learning her behavior made you uncomfortable. But he didn't so you did. Being that she's a good friend of yours, it's completely reasonable that you told her how you felt and asked her to tone it down. Big red flag if your friend immediately told your boyfriend about it, makes me think she's trying to start trouble. Is she truly a trustworthy friend?”

Should OP have talked to her friend about her behavior? Should she trust her boyfriend and not worry about it? How would you have reacted in this situation?

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