A woman shared a story about walking out of her boyfriend's mom's house after he and his mother attempted to coerce her into eating dairy when she was lactose intolerant. We'll call her Julia.
Meeting the Parents
Julia explained that she and her boyfriend had been dating for around six months. They live in California, and his parents live in Missouri, so Julia has never gotten the chance to meet them. Around a week ago, James said he was taking a trip to Missouri for a few days to visit his parents and asked Julia if she wanted to come.
They arrived yesterday, and Julia made sure to have James tell his parents that she is lactose intolerant, and he reassured her that he had told them, so Julia assumed there wouldn't be any issues. Julia said her mom was in the kitchen pretty much all day preparing the meal, and Julia said it smelled amazing. Julia asked her what she was making, and she responded that it was chicken korma curry.
Julia said she assumed that her boyfriend's mom had substituted the dairy products with non-lactose ingredients, so she didn't think anything of it. When it was time to eat, her boyfriend's mom placed the dish in front of her, and she said it smelled amazing. Julia asked her for confirmation that there was no dairy in the dish, and she looked at Julia like she was an alien and asked, “why on earth” a chicken korma would be dairy free?
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Coercive Tactics
Julia told her that she was lactose intolerant, and she became angry, saying that Julia should have told her earlier and that she didn't have anything else to make. Her boyfriend jumped in and reminded his mom that he did tell her about the dairy tolerance, but then turned to Julia and said it wasn't that bad of an intolerance and that she should just eat it.
Julia said she felt backed into a corner, so she burst into tears, said she was sorry, but she couldn't eat it and left and booked herself a hotel room. Her boyfriend kept calling her, saying how upset his mom and dad were and called her disrespectful for not at least trying her meal. She eventually returned his calls, and he seemed apologetic and even stopped by the hotel to see if she was okay, but as soon as she let him in, he started in on her again about his mother and her hurt feelings.
Julia told him that he needed to leave and that she would be getting a flight back to California the next day. She admitted it would take a chunk out of her budget but that she was already very uncomfortable and just wanted to be alone.
Was Julia justified in not eating the meal? Should she have just sucked it up and taken a few bites? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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