I Stopped Paying My Daughter’s Rent Because She’s Toxic – Am I A Bad Mother?

A mother of two girls, Sam, 22, and Kathy, 14, recently got into a tough spot with her daughter Scarlett, 43. Unexpected problems arose as their family went from poor to stable.

It's Hard To Make Ends Meet

Image Credit: Adobe Stock.

Scarlett remembers the hard times they had as a child when they were poor and had to struggle to provide for Sam as she grew up. For some reason, she chose to go to college at night while also taking care of her kids.

The Long Way To Grade 12

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

It took Scarlett more than four years of hard work and patience to get an education. It was finally over when Sam was 14. He got a better job but still had money problems because he owed a lot of money.

Changes in the Tide at 18

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

As soon as Sam turned 18, things got a lot better for them. Scarlett's career put her in an area that was in high demand, which made their lives easier financially and gave them the chance to take vacations.

Two Childhood Stories

Image Credit: Adobe Stock.

When Kathy was 10, her family's finances got back on track; it became clear that Sam and Kathy had very different childhoods. Sam went to a public school in the city that was having trouble, while Kathy went to a better school with all the latest technology.

Different Treatment from Mom

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

Sam got angry at her sister for having better things than her, and things reached a boiling point during a school trip to Washington, D.C. She told Kathy that she was a “spoiled brat” and begged her mother to treat her as she had been treated as a kid.

A Mother's Dilemma

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

Sam told Scarlett that Kathy should go through the same hard times she did, which put her in a moral bind. Sam's insistence on returning to being poor caused a heated fight, and Scarlett made a terrible choice.

A Very Strong Demand

Woman with surprised reaction
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

In reaction to Sam's demands, Scarlett decided that if Sam wanted her sister to go through the same problems they did, she would have to pay her own rent and other bills. Sam was shocked by this statement, which made her look for help from her family.

Family Breakups

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

Sam got help from their aunts, making things worse between family members. The question came up: Is Scarlett wrong for wanting to give Kathy a better life, or is Sam right to want equal rights for everyone?

Looking for a Solution

Couples discussing
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

Scarlett is going to try to fix her relationship with Sam by getting in touch with him. She hopes that they can find things they agree on and work out their differences.

AITA: A Question From a Mother

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

The question still needs to be answered is whether Scarlett was wrong to try to improve Kathy's life or whether Sam was too hard on her demands for equality. The decision is still unknown; it will take time to see if this family can get along again.

Let's find out what people think about this. 

Ready to make your first budget?

Enter your email and get the free template


Understanding the Impact on the Oldest Daughter

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

One person says YTA because Scarlett doesn't know how her oldest daughter's life has changed her. It's already too late to fix what she did. It is very important to keep girls' options open. Family therapy would be good for everyone.

Recognizing the Unfairness in Childhood

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

One person noted that Scarlett broke her heart because she couldn't give her the perfect childhood as she did with her sister. I understand Scarlett's situation—that's life—but she should also understand how her older daughter feels. As a child, life was not fair to her.

Minimizing Trauma and the Role of Gifts

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

User: “Scarlett may have downplayed her older daughter's trauma, which made her blow up.” YTA. You can't just think that buying her things now will fix everything.

Defending the Mother's Courage in Overcoming Poverty

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

Someone says NTA. “I feel terrible for Sam, but people on YTA think it's so simple and quick to escape poverty. Scarlett must have given up a lot to go back to school while having kids. Sam is stupid to want to hurt her sister because her life wasn't good. Scarlett probably didn't like living with her for 18 years either, being poor. Thinking that Scarlett didn't love Sam enough to make more money with him like she did with the new child is silly and a mean way to look at poor people.”

“She Supports Donald Trump?” 10 Surprising Stars Who Support The Former President

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

There are many stars who support the former president that will surprise you.

How I make $11,000 per year renting out my spare rooms?

Get access to my FREE guide now.


These 10 Celebrity “Real” Names Are Very Different Than Their “Stage” Names

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

Many celebrities take on stage names to either protect their identity, or to reinvent themselves into someone else. Here are 10 celebrities' stage names vs. their real names.

“I Hate Them Together” These 10 Surprising Celebrity Couples Made Fans Furious

Image Credit: Brenden Thorne.

Everyone has their preferences as to who their favorite celebs should have a happily ever after with. And, understandably, fans can become upset when those happily ever after dreams are crushed. Here is a list of celebrity couples that fans absolutely did not approve of.

10 Canceled TV Shows People Want To Come Back

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.
Television shows come and go, but some leave a lasting impression on viewers that they yearn to see them make a comeback. Recently on an online platform, people have shared several canceled TV shows they want to see revived. From quirky comedies to epic dramas, these shows had dedicated fan bases that still hold out hope for their return.
[mashshare]

How I make $11,000 per year renting out my spare rooms?

Get access to my FREE guide now.