10 Destructive Ways That People Use Weaponized Incompetence

People in a relationship might face the issue when their partner refuses to meet their needs. They find their partners saying they cannot do it. When in reality, it is the weaponized incompetence they are using. It’s a manipulative technique to avoid relationship responsibilities. Here are a few common ways people in relationships use this trick.

1. Playing the Victim

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Playing the victim is the cheapest trick of weaponized incompetence. Your partner plays the victim by blaming you for everything. They did something wrong and behaved wrong, but when you confront them, they will say you made them do it. Your behavior was the driving factor of their poor behavior. A few might cry to play the victim and gain your sympathy.

2. Financial Incapability

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Many people have seen those situations where they get into a relationship. At first, everything seems so reasonable. But as their relationship grows, their partner tells them they can’t bear their expenses. They pretend to know nothing about finance management and budgeting. They might ask you for the money for their personal bills. This trick is actually to avoid financial responsibility in the relationship.

3. Gaslighting

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It is a significant psychological trick to manipulate someone into anything. Your partner might gaslight you by coercing the situation about any incident or discussion. They might make you question your memory by completely denying the facts and statements they once said. They will pretend that discussion had never happened, making you doubt your perception of events.

4. Manipulation

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Words not matching actions is manipulation. They will coerce the situation into something that is not what it truly is. Your partner might manipulate you or the situation into something. It is to make you do things that benefit them or their aim. This is one of the cheap tactics anyone can use to make their partner do anything for them. Or to take out the information they need from you. 

5. Guilt Tripping

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Guilt-tripping is a common way to show weaponized incompetence. Your partner will tell you all the bad things you have ever done, all the mistakes you have made. It even seems toxic to anyone watching from a biased angle a few times. They mainly want to send you on a guilt trip. It’s their way of telling you you are a messed up person. And they are bearing your responsibility in your relationship.

6. Avoiding Decisions

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Quite often, people complain about their partner’s habit of avoiding decisions. They put you off whenever you ask them to help you with something. They might ask for time to think but will still hang upon you. The reason is that they don’t want to take responsibility for their decisions. They want you to have all the blame for it.

7. Emotional Avoidance

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Have you ever felt that your partner is showing emotional avoidance to you? There can be any reason behind this emotional avoidance. They might use this trick to tell you that you are wrong. Or you have done something which they didn’t like. As a result, they will try to be emotionally distant, to blackmail you emotionally.

8. Sabotaging Tasks

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One of the most commonly used ways to weaponize incompetence is task sabotaging. Your partner will consciously put off the task, so you do it yourself. If you confront them, they will quickly say they were about to do this task, but you did it right there. They might also sabotage you with the job by saying they don’t know how to do it. 

9. Selective Memory

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People have witnessed their partners using selective memory tricks on them. For instance, they will remember where you said something in their favor. But they will pretend to forget everything they have said or done that goes against them. They will pretend to forget the conversations. It leads to a lot of confusion and manipulation.

10. Undermining Confidence

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When your partner makes you doubt your abilities by degrading them, they might be so critical of you that you have started losing confidence around them. When they undermine your skills, it is a blow to your self-confidence. It really has a significant impact on your overall personality. This is a tactic to make you realize that you need them because you are not good enough.

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