Parenting can be challenging, but some parents go beyond being strict or firm and become toxic toward their children. Recently on an online platform, people have shared some of the harmful things that some of the worst parents say to their kids.
1. Hurtful Words From Parents: Emotional Damage and Powerlessness
A user revealed that in the wee hours of the morning, their parent insulted and demeaned them for failing to open a jar of tomato sauce, using hurtful words like “useless” and “can't do anything.” Such words have the power to inflict emotional damage and leave the individual feeling worthless and powerless.
2. Children of Divorced Parents: Overwhelmed and Confused
As a child caught in the middle of divorced parents, you may have heard phrases like “Don't let your other parent know,” “Tell your other parent this,” or “Your other parent is just manipulating you.” It's tough. And when you think you've got a handle on things, your parent might drop a bombshell like, “Look what your other parent did. I don't want you to hate them, but isn't it messed up?” All of this back and forth can leave you feeling confused and overwhelmed.Â
3. Toxic Father: A Heartbreaking Story of Emotional Abuse
The third user's story will break your heart. It's a painful memory involving a toxic comment made by their father. Picture this: the user's sister made a delicious homemade pizza, and their father just gobbled it up right in front of them. But that's not even the worst part. When the user asked about the leftovers, their father flew into a rage and threw them at the user! And as if that wasn't bad enough, the father then dared to say, while drunk no less, “We're leaving, and you're not coming with us, which is a deeply hurtful statement.
4. The Lasting Scars of Physical Abuse on Children
The story shared by this brave individual is a harrowing reminder of how much damage can be done by physical abuse. Without giving too much away, the user asked whether physical violence counts as “toxic language” – a question that reveals how deeply they've been affected by their experience.
5. Instilling Fear in Children: Toxicity of Frightening Threats
When this user spoke up and shared their story, it was hard to ignore the chill that ran down her spine. Their parent made a frightening threat that no child should hear: “I kicked your mom out, and I can do the same to you.” Such a statement is considered toxic as it instills fear in the child, causing instability in their environment. The child may experience feelings of abandonment and insecurity as a result.
6. Forced to Choose: Trauma and Disbelief From Parents
Someone shared their experience of being forced to choose between their parents over an email password. The user's father demanded access to their email account, which the user refused. The father then made the user's mother choose between them, leading to the mother telling the user to leave. The user spent the night outside in the cold with no coat. The trauma of the experience stayed with the user, who eventually opened up to their parents about it, only to be met with disbelief and anger.
7. Dismissiveness and Damage: The Impact of a Statement
Have you ever tried to ask for help or offer constructive criticism to a parent, only to be met with the dreaded phrase, “So you're saying that I'm a bad parent”? For some individuals, this is the absolute worst response they can receive. It's dismissive, hurtful, and can make a child feel like their concerns or needs are being completely ignored. The parent is saying, “I'm perfect, and I don't need to change,” which can be incredibly damaging.
8. Inferiority and Resentment: Differential Parental Treatment
Can you relate to the feeling of living in the shadow of your older siblings? A user shared their story of constantly being measured up against their siblings and receiving differential treatment from their parents. This left them feeling inferior and as though their efforts were never enough. The constant comparisons and differential treatment can devastate a person's self-esteem, leaving them with a sense of inadequacy and resentment towards their parents and siblings.
9. Negative Comparisons: Harmful Effects
We all know that talking negatively about others is never good, but did you know that it can be especially harmful when it comes from a parent? According to another individual, a common toxic behavior exhibited by the worst parents is talking negatively about the other parent to their child and then comparing the child to that parent. For example, saying “You're just like your father!” in a negative context can lead the child to develop a negative self-image and resent the other parent.
10. Lack of Validation: Feeling Unimportant and Insignificant
It's a great feeling when someone acknowledges and celebrates our accomplishments, but what happens when we don't receive that validation from the people we love the most? The final user shared that they were repeatedly met with an underwhelming “okay” from their parents, regardless of what they achieved or overcame. This lack of validation made them feel insignificant.
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