10 Harmful Sayings Used by Manipulators to Control Others

As complicated as psychological influence is, gaslighting is one of the sneakiest ways to do it. People who do this kind of emotional abuse use sneaky words and subtle psychological warfare to control and confuse their victims. A big part of this dark art is using gaslighting phrases and strings of words that sound nice but are meant to hurt someone. People who want to hurt other people's truth, confidence, and freedom use these words and phrases.

1. “You're Being Paranoid.”

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The point of this phrase is to make the person question their own thoughts and reasoning. If someone says they are worried or suspicious, a trickster might say they are just paranoid and not true. That person may lose trust in themselves over time if they start to question their feelings.

2. “You Are Making That Up.”

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When someone is being manipulated, they say that the other person is making up information or events to hurt their reputation and cause confusion. It can make the person doubt their memory, leading to questioning what they remember.

3. “You're Overreacting.”

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This phrase makes the other person's thoughts and emotions seem less critical. When someone shows anger, sadness, or frustration, a liar might say these feelings are too strong or unnecessary. People will be less likely to voice worries or objections in the future if this strategy is used.

4. “You Have Always Been Crazy.”

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To say that is an attack on their mental and physical health. By making it seem like the person has a past of being unstable or acting irrationally, the manipulator wants to make their opinions look weak and unreliable.

5. “That Never Happened.”

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Gaslighters often lie about things that happened or talk about what did happen. A trickster tries to make a person doubt their own reality by wiping out their memories and experiences. The subject may learn more and more about what is true and what is false over time.

6. “I Don't Know What You Want Me To Say.”

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People who are manipulators may act confused when they need to have a tough talk or face an issue about their behavior. When they say they don't know what's expected of them, they make the victim angry and doubtful. The victim may start to doubt their communication skills and think they are unreasonable to expect a direct answer, shifting the balance of power in favor of the manipulator.

7. “It Was Just a Joke; Can't You Take a Joke?”

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When a manipulator says something hurtful or rude and the victim responds badly, the manipulator quickly calls it a joke. This is how they try to make the target doubt their own feelings and wonder if they are being too sensitive. Over time, the target may not want to say how they feel or what they think, which gives the manipulator more room to keep doing what is hurtful.

8. “It's Your Fault.”

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Shifting the blame is a common way to gaslight someone. By blaming the victim, a manipulator can avoid taking responsibility. This can make the victim feel guilty and question themselves. This strategy might make the target defensive, making it hard for them to hold the manipulator responsible for what they did.

9. “How Dare You Accuse Me of Doing That!”

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It is possible for manipulators to get angry and upset when they see proof of their actions. This answer is meant to make the victim doubt their claims and feel bad about bringing them up in the first place. The target may not want to deal with future problems because the manipulator's intense emotional response can be scary.

10. “Everyone Agrees With Me.”

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This saying is a way to get people to do what you want them to do. The manipulator lies and says that many people agree with their point of view or deeds. This makes the victim feel alone and like they are the only one who doesn't fit in. This can make the victims question themselves and not want to say what they think because they fear being shunned or criticized by others.

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