Not all relationships turn out romantic and blissful; toxic relationships can be suffocating and painful. All relationships start happy, but somewhere down the line, things become murky and can damage both physically and psychologically. There is no yardstick to measure and distinguish between toxic and healthy relationships; however, there are some differences, including:
1. Non-Existent Verbal Abuse
Physical abuse leaves marks, but verbal abuse hurts deep inside, where scars cannot be treated/wiped out. A contributor is relieved that his current relationship is without yelling and name-calling. He is stress-free about what his partner might say after an argument.
2. Easy Communication
It is refreshing when you can easily discuss everything with your partner without fear of consequences. Many users agreed that it was comforting to talk without the fear of the discussion ending up in a fight and being shouted at or facing silent treatment for days ahead.
3. Amazed by Minimum
Someone compared their previous toxic relationship with the current one and was pleased that her current boyfriend understands her mental illness, is constantly reachable, has all eyes on her (doesn't entertain or even compliment other girls), and takes accountability for his mistakes.
4. Gestures Matter
Holding hands or being lovey-dovey outdoors is normal. A respondent agreed on how lovely it was to hold hands publicly without feeling awkward. For her, a thriving relationship was one where little gestures like forehead kisses, random little gifts, reminders to take care of, and getting cozy in bed with coffee were prevalent.
5. A No Means a No
How lovely it feels when a partner is caring and stops just because he thinks the other is uncomfortable. One user experienced the same when her partner stopped because he thought she said so. She felt extremely safe and overwhelmed by his concern and love. Someone else elaborated that no should mean an immediate stop; no whining, coercing, or begging.
6. Silence Is Golden
A commenter observed how silence from his partner in his previous relationship indicated that he had done something wrong. He was satisfied with experiencing acceptable silence now. Another person admitted how their traumatized brain took time to adjust to a comfortable silence.
7. No Body Shaming
Your partner should love the way you are; no one should be conscious of their partner's presence. It is a red signal if the conversation revolves around losing/gaining weight, achieving perfect body shape, or body hair. An individual recounted how her ex constantly commented on her looks, making her uncomfortable.
8. Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Someone noted how she remained anxious in her previous relationship whenever her partner was away and considered that it was because she was missing him. In her current relationship, she realized her partner made plans with her (enjoyed being with her), replied to her calls, and kept her posted.
9. Gender Stereotypes
Some men out there still have gender stereotypes; they consider housework to be a woman's duty. They prefer to whine about what needs to be done instead of getting things done themselves. A contributor counted her blessings for having a partner who did laundry twice a week and cooked/picked up dinner whenever he could.
10. Space for Friends and Family
Friends and family are a great part of life. When the people around you understand each other's importance in your life, life is bliss. That being the case, one commenter stated her partner, after having his share of toxic relationships, was ‘mind blown' for being ‘allowed' to go out with friends and pursue his hobbies.
11. Humans Make Mistakes
A woman recollected her childhood memories of the outbursts her mother had to endure if they made a mistake. She was expecting the same with her partner when she told him about a wrong turn they had made while traveling but was astounded to see him relaxed and smiling.
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12. Loyalty
Loyalty and trust are basic ingredients in any relationship. Infidelity will leave lasting scars on the betrayed partner, potentially lasting a lifetime. One person remembered his painful experience with his cheating spouse. Another remarked that men who don't cheat also don't want to be cheated on.
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