A guy shared his story of telling his sister that it's her fault she didn't get into a good college because she was a teen mom. We'll call him Josh.
Young Mother
Josh explained that his 18-year-old sister recently became a teen mom. She messed around with a guy from the neighboring school's football team and ultimately decided to keep the baby. Josh said she applied to a few public colleges in their state in the fall, and all of her admissions decisions have been released.
She did not get into any of the schools because she had a “poor application.” According to Josh, she slacked off during the first three years of high school and got bad grades. She was also never involved in any activities, and her essays were terrible because she didn't have time to write them while taking care of a newborn.
Josh's parents told her that it was her decision whether or not to get an abortion and whether or not to put the baby up for adoption. She ultimately decided to keep it and raise it. Josh's parents and Josh made it clear while she was in the early stages of her pregnancy that they were not going to be overly involved in helping her raise the baby.
Their parents connected her with community teen mom resources and offered to get her into therapy if that was something she was interested in. In the fall, when she was supposed to be working on her essays, Josh said that she asked him repeatedly to quit varsity basketball so he could stay home and take care of the baby while she applied for college.
Josh refused and said he didn't care enough about the baby to give up a sport he loved playing. Josh said that her final rejection letter came yesterday, and she threw a fit and started crying. She screamed at Josh and called him selfish for not supporting her while she was applying for college. Josh told her that it was her own fault she couldn't get in because of the irresponsible decisions she made in high school.
He told her that she needs to accept the consequences of her actions and be okay with community college. He said she hasn't talked to him since.
The Masses Weigh In
Plenty of people were sympathetic to Josh's position in this situation.
One person said, “NTA – having a child while you're still in school is incredibly difficult, but it's also incredibly unfair of her to expect you to sacrifice your time because of a decision she made, especially since you're also still in school. She was given options that wouldn't end in her being a parent and she was warned ahead of time that the baby would be her responsibility.”
Another user pointed out that she would have had a hard time coordinating a childcare plan if she had moved away from home to go to college, and it would likely be easier for her to stay local and go to a community college. “NTA what would her child care plan be if she were to go away to college? She can’t move into a dorm with a baby. Community college is probably her best option anyway Quitting basketball would hurt your college chances. She made her choices and has to deal with the consequences.”
Another user told Josh that even if he had quit basketball to help with the baby, she still probably wouldn't have gotten in because she didn't apply herself for three years of high school, and her application would reflect that. “NTA. Having a baby is a HUGE responsibility that new parents (especially young ones) think everyone is supposed to stop their life and help them. That help typically means doing the heavy lifting of raising that child.
Your niece/nephew is her responsibility not yours. You should not have to give up a sport (especially if it helps you with college) so she can fill out her applications. The truth is that an application is only a reflection of the last three years. If she didn’t take high school seriously, she wasn’t getting in anyway. Do not feel bad because she is mad at you for pointing out the brash truth. I have no doubt you came across as harsh but were telling the truth.
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ONLY PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR KIDS.”
Was Josh too harsh with his sister? Should he have quit basketball to help her? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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