Dad Won’t Pay For Youngest Daughter’s Wedding to a 46 Year Old Man, Should He?

A man recently shared his story of changing his mind about paying for his daughter's wedding even though he said he would. We'll call him Shawn.

Not an Ideal Match

Shawn explained that his oldest daughter got married two years ago. He paid for the whole thing. His youngest daughter recently got engaged and is planning on having her wedding in the spring. Shawn said that his eldest daughter and her husband have been together since she was 20, so Shawn is familiar with him and thinks he's a good man.

Shawn went on to say that his youngest daughter is engaged to a much older man (46 years old), and Shawn can't believe she's dating him. He has an ex-wife as well as teenage children. Shawn said he has disapproved of the relationship since his daughter introduced him as her boyfriend. Shawn and his eldest daughter attempted to talk to her and express their concerns, but she said that she is an adult and could date anyone she wants.

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Unrealistic Expectations

Shawn said that when she got engaged, she asked him if he was going to pay for her wedding since he promised he would. Shawn told her that he would not because she knew he doesn't approve of the relationship. He reminded her that she told them that she's an adult and can do whatever she wants, and that's okay, but that she needs to face the adult consequences of her actions.

He made it clear that if she wants to marry, then she needs to pay for it. He reiterated that marrying that man would be a mistake, but she called him a jerk and claimed he was favoring his eldest daughter. Shawn tried to explain how it was different, but she wouldn't listen. Shawn's parents thought he should support her and show her he loves her and that if she realizes she made a mistake, she could trust him to support her then too.

Shawn said he was uncertain about that, and he thinks that because she doesn't want to listen to his advice, then she shouldn't feel entitled to his money. He said she knows how much he loves her, but that doesn't mean he has to be supportive of her bad decisions.

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The Masses Weigh In

There were plenty of people who supported Shawn in his decision.

“NTA. Tell her that you're saving the money, so you can use it for her when she's trying to escape an abusive situation in the future. Marrying a man twice her age is a disastrous decision, and you are right not to support it,” one person said. Another pointed out that Shawn said in an update that his daughter had only been dating the older man for seven months and that they were moving way too quickly.

“And they've only known each other 7 months! 7 MONTHS? I'd refuse to pay for the wedding on that information alone. 7 months is waaay to soon to get engaged to a divorcee with 2 teenage children of his own. If they really truly do love each other, they would be willing to wait, to figure out their new family dynamic and save up for a modest wedding they can afford.

Instead this sounds like a case of a child stamping her foot, saying ‘my older sister got a pretty/fancy wedding, I want a pretty/fancy wedding waaaaaaah!'”

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Was Shawn right to refuse to pay for his daughter's wedding? Should she have listened to her father's advice? How would you have reacted in this situation?

Read the original post here.

This article was produced and syndicated by Max My Money.


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